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Hurt Myself

Sometimes I think about if I lived a different way
Or if I ended it the way I planned on Christmas day
Never grew into a man what would the people think
I hate alcohol because alcohol is a evil drink
Nice that I don't care to remember at all and starin at the wall just wishin that that bitch would call back
Slip and fall back into my depression deeper
No answer but experience is the greatest teacher
Cause now I don't fear nothin not even the Grim Reaper
I've been deeper, people who promised me to be for me forever they wasn't there either
My family treated my like a old pair of sneakers
Worn out on the road with my speakers blown out
Thinkin out loud 'What the fuck am I gonna do now'
Wasn't the proudest of my moments when I begged a homie to let me sleep on his couch tomorrow cause I felt so lonely
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In the studio she said 'You seem unusual, cause you're the one that shown me that life is beautiful'
Truth used to go so far I felt like now honesty seems to have a very short shelf life
The truth hurts I tried to hurt my self twice, first with sleeping pills, the second time I tried a knife
I never felt that type of crazy in my life, made a atheist feel like I should pray to Jesus Christ
I don't even know if god can hear me right
But belief in something greater made my spirit fight
Even when your window is fogged up plus your job sucks coughen up a few bucks
What a dreary life. Let me reiterate move into a bigger state
Down a interstate in the interest of bigger dinner plates
Plan to shine like some stars that don't denigrate