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Kevin Bloody Wilson
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My Grandfathers Cock (live in London)
My gradfather's cock was an itsy bitsy dicky
And it hardly took up any room at all
Had a head and a neck, but Jesus Christ by heck
You should've seen the size of granddad's balls
He had a horn on the morn of the day that he was born
And though it was erect you couldn't see
Cause my grandfather's cock was a pissy little pisser
But his clangers they were hanging to his knees
A tiny wee appendage (not a cock, not a cock)
An inch from end to end, it's (not a cock, not a cock)
Just a stump, short, like a tiny little wart
On the old man's nuts
Well my grandfather's cock was a huge motherfucker
And his pecker was a wrecker so they say
And you shoulda seen the head, you shoulda seen the neck
You should take me for a wrestle in the hay
Had a head like a steer, nothin' 'tween the fuckin' ears
You shoulda seen that god damn neck
Like a giant of a man with a pumpkin in his hands
Kept that pumpkin fuckin' pumpin' near to death
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You shoulda seen that darn thing (what a cock, what a cock)
Rearin' like a Mustang (what a cock, what a cock)
It was wild, mean, coiled up in his jeans
Whoop-it-I-oh let her out and let her ride
Well my grandfather's cock was just average for an Aussie
Weighed I spose, thirty, fourty pounds
And overall his old fella was just a couple of inches
Just a couple of inches fron draggin' on the ground
Had a vein in its neck like a fuckin' opera singer
And a head like an old school bell
And a pair of leather knackers like a ringer's saddle bags
Picked up ribbons at the royal show as well
Fair dinkim mate, I kid you not (what a cock, what a cock)
Just an average Aussie cock (what a cock, what a cock)
And he still ploughs an acre every day
Crawlin' round on his hands and his knees
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