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The Mad Conductor
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One Solid Connection
I was working in my lab, late one night
Chillin' on the slab, waiting for the lightning to strike
Now my dog has hands, and I have paws
Sometimes experiments will leave you with claws
So I slash what's left of your funeral rites
I slash a mic open and the cable ignites
I'll burn your bridge so you can't finish the song
'Cause that thing's been playing way too long
While you're in the river drowning your label head is frowning
I drag him to England and then loan him a pounding
Now his stupid white fur coat turns red
Like he's at the formal getting buckets dumped on his head
I'm blasting your fans like an out of tune brass band
My raps can leave the stands abandoned like Jazz Land
Or they can hypnotize the crowd,
but never sympathize with weak emcees
ALL MUST BE MINIMIZED
I'm like a robot programmed to do it
Rockin' body armor over top a black tunic
My thoughts are protected by a helmet of iron
With a menacing face-mask I'll tell when you're lying
I'm the king in the sub-basement of the underground
Gettin' down with the most thunderous sound
You're a derelict degenerate, plague of humanity
I'm jumping from the twelfth floor to land on the canopy
Bounce to the street where we meet to do battle
I've got the Kwan Dao to ensure my survival
I go beneath the surface like Sektor in combat
Uppercut your monocle and knock back your top-hat
If life's got you down and you're feeling morose
Buy a vile of my venom and then try out a dose
From the handle of my cane I brandished a knife
And etched into the brain 'MC FOR LIFE'
Wealth is no mark of nobility,
nor do clothes in abundance prove chivalry
Greed is the result of blindness to reality
And this is the plight of humanity
I drink a gallon of kombucha tea and wait for the rain
It never came so we kept playing the game
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A swirl of dark grey now anchored in the heavens
It was all tied up in the top of the seventh
The skipper made a double switch
He brought me in to play third base and Dan McKinney to pitch
It went one, two, three, now it's time to wake the bats
Shaking the cave walls with sonar raps
I grabbed a stalagmite, ripped it from the ground
Bringing terror in the eyes of the chump on the mound...
('Here's Typhoeus from the stretch...
Earlier today he said his arm was a cannon,
but it's M-C-D that the crowd is chanting!)
You know I never like to let a crowd down
Just like rocking a show with the loud sound
I started slamming my chest like an ape in the mist
and pointed my cudgel toward the starry abyss
What happened to the pitch he was about to throw?
Hear my next verse if you'd like to know!
I swing with the force of a mountain dividing
One solid connection sends 'em all flying
I sent a shot to center, Otis Nixon is chasing
Climbing up the wall like a flying Grayson
Ascending the summit he extended his hand
but the towering drive crashed into the stands
That's my whole philosophy: give back to the fans
With many souvenirs and solid gold jams
Needless to say, we went on to clinch the pennant
After all it's our home and we had to defend it
We're blowing up your shed with a stereo bomb
Y'all fools run around like Jerry and Tom
I'm a mean rap scallion,
a hip-hop bandit from the water margin and I brought a barge in
Leveled my spear and started charging
I'll never beg your pardon
I'd rather die than live like you and your department
What's crucial to you is immaterial to me
What gives us both life you destroy foolishly
So never consider me part of your organization
My brain operates on a different vibration
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