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Stik Figa
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Holding Back Tears
Look, was never lyrical but read a couple books
Was more than criminal I empathized with crooks
Life give the minimal so scraps is what we took
So when it's critical no time to be shook
Ain't say I'm hood but my neighbors ain't invite me in
Made them uncomfortable I used to wish for lighter skin
I used to hate myself my mind was sick is my defense
Low self-esteem not aligning more with righteous men
Since Tiwanne died my mind kind of switched
Another homicide lied on the dry cement
I couldn't even cry all I wanted was revenge
Some wounds never heal, even time couldn't fix
The tide I'm against in a ship ready to capsize
In troubled water's I guess I'm getting baptized
As for forgiveness for every time that I backslide
Would be a miracle drown in hate for the last time
Holding back tears, going back years
Ain't want to feel pain, I let go of that fear
I been holding back tears (repeat 2x)
Look, was never any good with matters of the heart
Don't hand me yours if you been fragile from the start
Not skilled in discipline or mastering the art
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Designer fabrics are more flattering with scars
I'm a flawed man, ah man
Look, glad my salvation wasn't left into y'all hands
If you ain't never had to scrape, scratch or crawl man
I don't need your opinion cause you an off brand
Now try and picture my frame of mind
Portraits develop in dark rooms it's taking time
A fine craft on display with a great design
Often at a loss for words but I can make it rhyme
I'm guess I'm saying that I'm on a soul search
And when all that glitters ain't gold barely denotes worth
Numb the pain the liquor says that it don't hurt
Holding back tears I pray to God that I don't burst
Holding back tears, going back years
Ain't want to feel pain, I let go of that fear
I been holding back tears (repeat 2x)
Bear the burden, share the sermon
Tell the truth then, share my purpose
The times now it's never been more urgent (2x)
I been holding back tears
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