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Stephen Sondheim



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Stephen Sondheim

'Ladies and gentlemen, a toast!'

Ladies and gentleman
A toast
To the presidency of the United States
An office which by it's mere existence
Reassures us that the possibilities of life
are limitless
An office the mere idea of which reproches us
When we fall short of being
all that we can be
A grand and glorious office
To which at least one among us we one day aspire
Ladies and gentlemen
What can I say?
Hail to the chief

You know?
You really ought to do something about that stomach

I do everything about this stomach
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Oh, yes?
I give up wine
No good
I give up smokes
No good
I quit my work
No good
I move Miami
No good
I take appendix out
No good
Nothing no good
Nothing, nothing, nothing

Have you considered shooting Franklin Roosevelt?
You think that help?
It couldn't hurt