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Slim Dusty
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The Mad Cook
The old time cooks of stock camps they take their jobs to heart
Though I knew that something had occurred to give our cook a start
He shivered like a dingo that had took a poisoned bait
Cursed heaven earth and angels all the souls in hell and fate
Then shis fist and muttered tore his hair and scratched his head
He stamped his feet and shouted someone's doped the flamin' bread
For a little while he pondered then he started off again
And I sat and thought in silence if the poor old chap was sane
Yes our cook was in a rage it seemed for what I did not know
What him so cantankerous and gave him such a blow
But I knew I'd better watch it if he came to close to me
Oh this would be ended and this song would never be
Next he took a sidestep and careered around the packs
Sort of doubled up with pain and grabbed the flamin' axe
He turned upon the horse tailer who bolted like a shot
And consigned the whole damn outfit to the regions that are hot
Next he talked of mongrels and deadbeats that he knew
His curses gettin' close to home as round the packs he flew
His rage was so tremendous I'd thought he'd bust a vein
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For he really now convinced me that he truly was insane, hey!
Yes our cook was in a rage it seemed but what I did not know
What him so cantankerous and gave him such a blow
But I knew I'd better watch it if he came to close to me
Oh this would be ended and this song would never be
He ran around the campfire then kicked the billy can
He must have hurt his toe because he limped now as he ran
And this calmed him down a little bit and brought him to a halt
But he scattered all the pepper out and threw away the salt
All the flour in the pack bags was emptied out as well
Then he collapsed unconscious and lay down where he fell
Oh he wasn't a bad old chap at heart and harmful not the least
Oh the trouble was he'd set the bread and forgot the flamin' yeast
Yes our cook was in a rage it seemed but what I did not know
What him so cantankerous and gave him such a blow
But I knew I'd better watch it if he came to close to me
Oh this would be ended and this song would never be
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