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Trevor Moore
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The Ballad of Billy John
Billy John was a simple man, worked in the fields most his life
He provided for his wife and kids and left his dreams on the side
One day when the kids left home billy picked up his guitar
It had been awhile but his fingers still knew how to reach the heart
Played a song about life and love, his hopes and regrets
Then with a little problem from the Mrs. he put it on the internet
When the views started pouring in, tears of joy started to fall
Then they scrolled to the comment section and this is what they saw
Eat a bag of shit cuntface
Go blow your fucking dad
This shit just raped my ears never heard nothin so bad
I hope you fucking die
And I hope you get aids
You should just kill yourself
You're a fag
Lol gay
Billy's wife watched her husband as he shrugged and tried to smile
He put his guitar away and stopped and stared at it for awhile
She knew he felt like a fool and he'd never play again
So she turned on her webcam and her message began
She said
The man you've hurt tonight, I've watched for 35 years
He's got a kind and gentle soul and thanks to you
That soul is in tears
And the people said
Shut the fuck up fatty
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Show us your tits
One out of ten I wouldnt bag
I bet she'd try to eat your dick
You should go get sterilized
So that you cant have kids
Then they photoshopped a bunch of pictures of her covered in jizz
Well the video went viral
Huh, fifty-seven million hits
Billy John's wife became a meme on the internet
They played the clip on cnn and read tweets about her weight
Cause I guess thats the sorta thing that the news does nowadays
Billy John and his wife did nothing wrong, and they weren't dumb
They just hadnt paid attention to what we'd all become
But a couple weeks later, after avoiding it for sometime
A broken down and changed Billy John finally went back online
He found a page of a blogger, still makin' fun of his wife
He signed up, made an account and this is what he typed
Eat a bag of shit cuntface
Go blow your fucking dad
Your shit just raped my eyes, never read nothin' so bad
I hope you fucking die
And I hope you get aids
And the world lost a Billy John and it gained more of the same
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