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The Midnight Beast
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#Selfie (Parody)
Oh my god
that was like totally off the chain
like totes want to do it over 3 more times
It's like a scene from 50 shades of slave or whatever
It's just how I imagined doing it with your dad but younger
I love your beard
#Hipster
Your breath kind of smells like carrots
but I love it
#carrotbreath
You just like do whatever you do
and wear whatever you wear
you look like shit
but I love it
My vjayjays totally run down right now
and I'm feeling kind of fat
Do you think I'm fat?
You're fat
I like always imagined my first baby would be chinese
they're like so much cuter
Wait
I think the condom just broke
and I'm worried I'm pregnant
I should take a test
but first
let me take an after sex selfie
oh my god
we should totally have sex
oh wait, we are
my friends say i'm a slut because one time I let five guys in at once
but I was in Thailand and I was discovering myself
#gapyear
wait
This is so embarrassing but I like totally just came on my period
and I need to get a tampon
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but first
let me take an aftersex selfie
Oh my god
I'm like the jesus of blowjobs
#biblical
Can't believe Bunty passed me a joint tonight
her dress is butterz
I got the munchies
fucking wish I had a pug
think I'm gonna cry
#dorbs
Look I fucked a lot of guys
that sounds really slutty but it's not
mate,
you should slap my bum and vine it
totes kinky
oh wait that's gross
do it now
People always think I'm Jessica Alba's sister
it's so annoying
I swear to god
Lana del ray is the soundtrack to my life
Hold the phone
Bunty just posted an after sex selfie
skank
whore
That is so cringe
bitch
tramp
who even takes an after sex selfie?
that is so tragic
fake tan is the most offensive thing in the world
I'm going to report it
but first
let me take an after sex selfie
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