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Blood In The Water
Now when you chose a law career the moment you embark
There's that joke you're bound to hear
'A lawyer is a shark'
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
Our topic is, blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Yes! Unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until the thrill of the kill becomes your only law
Mr. Schultz, hypothetical question:
Would you be willing to defend the following banker accused of fraud?
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On prostitutes and heroin and porn
No, I would not want to take that case!
WRONG!
This one is a win, unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid!
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy,
Your guy goes free and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobb's
Only spineless snobs will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs yes,
Blood in the water
Your scruples are a flaw
Ms Hoopes, would you be the right lawyer for the following client?
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite,
Seems he missed his chosen prey,
Hit a nun and drove away, running over three cute puppies in the street?
What, you think I wouldn't defend him just because he's a typical man?
Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough
Eh. but. eh
Oh dear I think my comment has offended
Hard to argue though, when you're too mad to speak.
Your employment will be very quickly ended
When they see how your emotions make you weak!
So what's my point? I run a million dollar law firm,
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I will select
Four young sharks whom I respect
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And those four will have a guaranteed career!
Do you follow me?
So I want to see... what?
Blood in the water
Exactly, let the games begin!
Four of you will win!
But just those four with the dorsal fin, yes
Blood in the water
So fight and scratch and claw!
Yes, Ms.
Woods, Elle Woods!
Someone's had their morning coffee...
Would you summarize the case of the State of Indiana v Hurn in your reading?
Oh, I wanted to answer the puppy question!
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
Oh Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?
You have guts, Miss Woods!
Miss Kensington,
Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go or...
No! I would throw her out!
All right then.
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat, so grab your coats
Yes, you've got guts but now they're spilled
You're blood's in the water!
So would you please withdraw?
And if you return
Be ready to learn.
Or is it unfair?
Oh wait, I don't care
That's just how I rule
In life and in school
With fear and shock and gall
You're nothing until (Blood in the water)
The thrill of the kill (Blood in the water)
Becomes your only law (Blood in the water
Your only law (Blood in the water)
Your only law (Blood in the water)
Blood in the water!
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