Twisted Christmas 专辑歌词 Bob Rivers ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网
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魔镜歌词网欧美歌手Bob RiversTwisted Christmas

Bob Rivers


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【 Twisted Christmas 】【 英文 】【 1990 】

1.The Restroom Door Said, 'Gentlemen'
2.The Twelve Pains Of Christmas



1.The Restroom Door Said, 'Gentlemen' (修改)

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen,'
So I just walked inside
I took two scents and realized
I was taken for a ride
I heard high voices, turned and found
The place was occupied
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen,'
It must have been a gag
As soon as I walked in there
I ran into some old hag
She sprayed me with a can of mace
And sacked me with her bag
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I could tell this just wouldn't be my day
What thing could I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen,'
And I would like to find
The crummy little creep(?) who had
The nerve to switch the sign
Cause I've got two black eyes
And one high-heel up my behind
Now I can't sit with comfort and joy
Boy, oh boy
No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy




2.The Twelve Pains Of Christmas (修改)

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Angry husband:
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Man getting over being drunk:
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Exhausted man:
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Nervous wife:
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Nervous wife's husband:
The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
Whining kid:
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean 'YOUR in-laws'?!?
Five months of bills!
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
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The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
A tired father:
Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A mother:
'Batteries Not Included'
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A male couch potato:
Stale TV specials
'Batteries Not Included'
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She's a witch...I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Two men:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
'Batteries Not Included'
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make 'em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree